She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
