so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
