Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
