It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
