i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
