dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
