thus making me awesome and them whores
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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