He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
