thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
