so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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