Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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