I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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