Where is the hickey?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize