I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
