Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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