"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Pooping to opera.
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