At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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