how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
