Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
