I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
