SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
