I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
