Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
