Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
