I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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