your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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