Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I wear drunk well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
