It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
