So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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