Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize