you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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