We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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