All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
