Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
