i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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