Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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