Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
