I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
