the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
