if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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