his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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