We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
