fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just tell him i said nine months
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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