I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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