you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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