he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
