the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
