I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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