this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my shit smells like andre
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
