party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
