yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
