I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
