i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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