Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
