When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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