It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
