can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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