Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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