Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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