Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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