is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
