We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
