So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
