there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
