Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
