how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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