That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
