I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can I color on your dick again?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
its liver damage thursday
Randomize