hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
