i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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