Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(616): View more from Michigan

i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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(254): View more from Texas

You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(818): View more from California

She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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(419): View more from Ohio

You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.

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(607): View more from New York

I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”

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